“Your stache is trash” and, “You know when that 2:30 feeling hits,” are two of the iconic lines from two distinct companies that have a lion’s share of awful. Today we are going to ask you, DOM Nation, which commercial is worse: “Just For Men” vs. “5 Hour Energy”? As I have stated in the past, I am an avid TV watcher. Nothing irritates me more than when companies whose gross revenues are high enough to be in the respectable category, put out commercials that are the hottest of garbage.
I thought Just For Men was awful but then again, is there really another men’s hair dye? As a preacher of male pattern baldness, this is one issue that will never be my concern, but what irritates me is blatant lack of respect that Just For Men has for their patrons. Let’s put up straight cheese of what they are saying: ”That’s right – we know you’re old and need to dye your hair. So let’s put up a 1950′s-level sitcom style commercial for you. That’ll make you old guys feel young again.” As bad as Just For Men is, at least they don’t have any competition in their market that anyone can quickly name offhand.
5 Hour Energy on the other hand does have competition. Now, the current commercials uses a “cowboy” that wears one of those plastic badges and holsters that you buy from Wal Mart for $4 that shoot the red rolls of caps. It is categorically terrible on all levels. I’d like to point out, what do cowboys know about plausible heathy vitamin enriched alternatives to black coffee? I thought that cowboys, with their rough and tough image, are supposed to be some of the most unhealthy people alive.
Maybe I am being stereotypical but I thought the cowboy thing was already owned by Marlboro. Maybe that’s the angle. “Yeah our cowboy smokes but when it comes to B vitamins he doesn’t play around.” That’s why he doesn’t drink coffee. Instead, he chooses 5 Hour Energy. Just a piece of advice, when my 2:30am feeling hits at the bar, Red Bull has always given me wings. So it is up to you DOM Nation. Which is worse: Just For Men or 5 Hour Energy?