Top 5 Risk Game Partners

Risk, one of the best board games for men, is a 17 hour alcohol-induced battle of wits marathon…at least it should be. You must be able to manipulate, coerce, and plan around your opponents. Having a strong partner is a must and today we are discussing our Top 5 Risk Game Partners of All Time.

First, each candidate is measured solely on their abilities of what they bring to the table. In this regard, with the focus on global domination, Risk can be multi-generational and multi-cultural. In choosing candidates, we considered people that dominated during their lifetimes, whether in real war, on the silver screen, or simply in a particular line of work.

Important side note!  Your choice of hydration is crucial to your battle stamina. No one wants to be a loser after many hours of constant moves, strategy changes, and numerous battlefield failures. Deploy every tactical advantage you can muster. Sipping a bourbon during these long and strenuous onslaughts is probably the best method.  Beer? You’re going to have to pee like your girlfriend after 10 minutes into a car trip. Besides, those bathroom breaks might be costly – increasing the chances of those mysterious army regroupings and secretive alliances, all while you were going number one. (Hint: If you have to go, consider taking a phone pic of the board layout before you leave the table.)  Wine? Well then…you shouldn’t be playing Risk. You should be playing Barbie: Queen of the Prom. If you drink wine while playing this game, as you become sleepy, you will likely succumb like France does every time. Wine, like France, has zero strategic qualities in Risk, a Man’s Game.

The list:

5.) DMX- Intimidator, Rapper, can sound like a dog to scare away our foes


4.) Mel Gibson- He has won wars both in the 18th and 20th centuries and had the Scots win battles.


3.) General Patton- Aggressive, gruff, hard charging, will shoot someone with a pistol if we are about to lose. Sixes three times in a row? I think not.


2.) Obi Wan Kenobi- Can change feeble minds to do our bidding. Light saber. Patient. Perfect for this game.


1.) Professor X- Can tell what everyone is thinking. Reading minds = dominating the globe.


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