I will be honest. There are some sports in the Olympics that I have no idea why they’re there. Nobody truly wants to watch speed walking for god’s sake. I mean, come on, if Oprah does it… then it is not a sport. Today, though, I am going to list the Top 5 Olympic sports actually worth watching.
The Olympics is a time for Americans to get together and bask in the glory of winning all the time while being the “fat country.” You have to imagine it can be a pretty great moment when Phelps is in the pool, gets out, and crushes a footlong Subway Seafood Sensation with extra mayo. Maybe that could be an Olympic sport… competitive talking. I think I would dominate the entire world if that were the case. Anyway, I digress. Another reason to watch the Olympics is the fact that it is completely acceptable to triple letter your USA wardrobe, and it allows you to break out the 4th of July attire that really needs to be out more often anyway. So crack open a cold one in the AM and boo every other country you see on TV.
The Top 5 are:
5.) Weightlifting - Team Mangold for life
4.) Women’s Beach Volleyball - for obvious reasons
3.) Men’s Track – great for short attention spans… like Big Al
2.) Men’s Swimming – always a showdown
1.) Men’s Basketball – Dream Team baby!
Honorable Mention: Women’s Gymnastics – for more of the obvious reasons
Henry the Moose of Manliness