I will be honest. There are some sports in the Olympics that I have no idea why they’re there. Nobody truly wants to watch speed walking for god’s sake. I mean, come on, if Oprah does it… then it is not a sport. Today, though, I am going to list the Top 5 Olympic sports actually worth watching.

The Olympics is a time for Americans to get together and bask in the glory of winning all the time while being the “fat country.” You have to imagine it can be a pretty great moment when Phelps is in the pool, gets out, and crushes a footlong Subway Seafood Sensation with extra mayo. Maybe that could be an Olympic sport… competitive talking. I think I would dominate the entire world if that were the case. Anyway, I digress. Another reason to watch the Olympics is the fact that it is completely acceptable to triple letter your USA wardrobe, and it allows you to break out the 4^th of July attire that really needs to be out more often anyway. So crack open a cold one in the AM and boo every other country you see on TV.

 

The Top 5 are: 

5.) Weightlifting - Team Mangold for life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.) Women’s Beach Volleyball - for obvious reasons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.) Men’s Track – great for short attention spans… like Big Al

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.) Men’s Swimming – always a showdown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1.) Men’s Basketball – Dream Team baby!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honorable Mention: Women’s Gymnastics – for more of the obvious reasons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-H.M.M.

Henry the Moose of Manliness