Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

I have finally caught up on The Walking Dead, which has caused a massive level of discussion on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Since we want you, the valued DOM Army, to keep coming back to this site during the carnage, here are some tips and ideas to survive the next wave of potential human extinction.  First, go to… an island. How is it that, to date, nobody ever just hopped into a boat and either lived on the water or traveled to a deserted island? Gilligan’s Island has proved that a complete dweeb, a putz, fat guy, a professor (me of course), two hot chicks, and some old people can survive for decades on coconuts and fish. I am sure that the members of the Gilligan’s Island Fan Club figured this out 10 minutes into Episode 1 of Season 1. (Yeah, there really still is a club!)

Second, don’t choose any cops that are from the sticks in Georgia as your leaders. This evidence is directly from the show The Walking Dead. Unless you want to sit around and argue all day with unattractive, self-absorbed women and an old guy (wearing a Gilligan hat ironically), all while two best buds packing heat argue about who is the better father figure for an obnoxious kid, this would be an awful choice.

Third, become friends with Bruce Campbell. He has experience destroying zombies and is almost as talented as Michael Weston in Burn Notice. If anything, Bruce makes an excellent drinking buddy.

Last, if you do not heed our first bit of advice and decide to stay on the mainland, build a moat or some sort of fortification defenses. Maybe a high powered electric fence. Maybe put in land mines. Maybe backhoe a ditch with high walls. Or, if zombies are dumb – and they are- find a house on a high hill, and build a labyrinth around the bottom of the hill with numerous entrances and exits. They will never find their way up to your place!  Then, sit back, chill out with a cold beer, and have fun watching “The Wandering Dead”.

-Taters

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