P’Zolo: An Attack on Hot Pocket Fans Everywhere

The war is on. Pizza Hut has crossed the line of no return. I was sitting innocently on the couch and then, bam, a blatant attack on a major staple of my diet showed up on the TV! Pizza Hut’s P’Zolo Hot Pocket infringement is nothing but a direct shot at real “Hot Pocket” fans everywhere. Don’t try to fool me Pizza Hut. I know a reheated, freeze dried, meat pastry when I see one. How dare you attack one of the holiest foods to call my microwave home.

 

P'Zolo

What is wrong with the pizza industry these days? Domino’s won’t let you change pizza toppings and Pizza Hut is trying to steal Hot Pockets.

Eh, a little late to the game there, Pizza Hut:

Hot Pockets are one of the only foods that give you a ’68 Dodge Charger level of flavor, and still have the decency to give you your own handy dandy car port to park in while you eat. Tell me of another company that puts that much thought into pleasing their customers. Pabst Blue Ribbon giving out beer justice is the only time I can recollect where a company truly goes above and beyond for the little guy. I ask that all of you rise from the ashes of that previously burnt hot pocket that you put in the microwave waaaay for too long, and stand up to Pizza Hut. Do not be fooled by this cheap imitator. When I want a pepperoni and Cheese Whiz concoction in a delectable and edible pop tart-esc style food with it’s own sheath, I turn to genuine, authentic Hot Pockets every time.

-Taters

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