Manly Skills: The Wingman

The biggest test of a man’s sacrifice and level of friendship is when he makes a personal sacrifice.  In this case, that would be helping his buddy with a certain “girl target of opportunity.” When a man is willing to don the flight suit of a wingman, he is accepting the fact that he will not be with the best looking girl, he will have to tone down his own personality, and will have to go to great lengths to put his friend in the best light. This is something that is not inscribed in the Ten ComMANdments, but is something that is ingrained in every man’s archetype personality. So how to do you become a good wingman? The first thing, take the role of wingman as a testament that your buddy needs help and he is putting his trust in you. You don’t just get thrown into the wingman position. He is stating that you are now brothers in arms, that you have made it through enough battles in the war of life together that he trusts you to help direct him through a difficult situation.

Now, it is important to set your own expectations low. Honestly, there would be 100 other friends fighting tooth and nail for the position if the “other” girl going on this little outing was Eva Longoria. Instead, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Your sole goal on this outing against the Viet Cong is to hoist your buddy into the best light. This means that you will be called upon to LIE, and depending on the guy, you may have to make more fabrications than originally perceived. Remember you have no idea how your bud has positioned himself with this girl. The reason she is bringing a friend is to maintain the protection of the herd. Therefore you must bring down the protection wall (her friend) like the thunderous ability of the Israelites at the walls of Jericho. Here is where you need to be surgically skillful. If you have no interest in said date (you probably won’t) you can’t come on too too much that you have an interest in her. That will just turn a hand grenade problem into a larger bomb later. Instead, insinuate that there is a possibility that you could be interested, by way of well-timed flirting. Basically, by the end of the night, your buddy’s prospect has lowered her defensive wall to the classic wingman move (putting up with her friend). Now your buddy is in the best light, and you still have an ejection seat strategy later on. Well done, sir.

Talk to me Goose,

-H.M.M.

Henry the Moose of Manliness

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