Manly Advice: Do I Have a Video Game Addiction?

Dear Henry,

I have spent just spent 36 consecutive hours playing Batman: Arkham City and NHL ’12. Do I have a video game addiction problem?

In short, yes you have an addiction to a vice. Now, vices include alcohol, cigars, chaw, video games, 80′s rock bands, cars, power tools, and pretty much anything that men enjoy. Instead of shunning and purging yourself from your vices, embrace them. If you prefer to use your stick with an Xbox, then I say add yourself a good bottle of bourbon and bring another vice into the mix. You should focus yourself on becoming the VICE President. Add all of them that you can manage. If you like staying up till the wee hours of the morning purging Gotham of super villains, then do it! Think about it, you already have a job that you hate. Why not make the last bastion of your hope, health, and sanity something you enjoy.

So try this when you go on your next gaming binge: Add in a large heavy pinch of Skoal straight, a shot of bourbon, throw on a Def Leppard album, and then go straight to the game. If you think about it, gaming should bolster your convictions to try new things. You can be a criminal, a cop, a pro football player, or a superhero. How do you know that you are not the next Peyton Manning until you get picked off 5 times in the first half by the Bucs while playing Madden on “All Madden?” That is how we work things out. So raise your dip-spit-filled water bottle in admiration of the fact that you can become VICE President of your friends.

Embrace your vices,

Henry the Moose of Manliness

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