Article by guest writer Dr. Young Gun
These thoughts took me back 15 years to when I was five. Goldeneye was released into theaters as well as the infamous video game that has since pushed many friendships to point break. These two media were my first exposure to the wonderful world of James Bond: 007. Through my teens when I learned what women were, I became obsessed with 007 and have since watched all of them multiple times each. From Connery to Craig, Bond was a man’s man.
However, the more I compared the old to the new I found that not only were they becoming less popular, they were also becoming less manly. Causation or chance? Regardless, Bond was losing his manhood due to political correctness. They began to rob 007 of his stogies, of his suaveness, of his proper nemeses, and of his popularity to fans.
Somewhere during Pierce Brosnan’s stint as Bond, the production staff began to shift 007 into the role of an action hero. I love explosions as much as the next man, but save them for The Expendables II. Sure, a well- timed bomb is still appreciated when Sean Connery overloads Dr. No’s base with raw atomic power, but they were secondary back then. All the sudden, 007 stopped infiltrating Russian networks and began taking on small armies, with great success.
This just isn’t the way Bond works; he sneaks in, sleeps with 2-3 women (only one in the newest Quantum of Solace, which is an outrage in itself), gets what he wants, sets the base’s self-destruct code, and escapes in an Astin Martin with the girl. All the while he’s drinking his weight in vodka martini’s, ensuring that cigarette smoke is the only gas in his lungs, and making puns about how Bloefeld branched off as he got stuck in a tree. So, let me be the first man to say bring back the Bond we love, the one who wasn’t afraid to get some flak (pun).
Trust me. I’m almost a doctor.
-Dr. Young Gun, Mandependence Guest Author