Dear Henry,

When I drive in my car with my girlfriend. She always puts on her music. I have to listen to Miley Cyrus! If I have to listen to her sing about her hands being up I am going to wig out.Please help me make this stop.

In the name of good taste we will not release your name to the masses just to retain what small ounce of pride you have left. This is how it starts in every relationship. First, it will be your music. Then it will be bathroom followed by your bedroom. Finally your whole house will be, “SO CUTE!!!” that your head will explode. This is just like Bacon’s Rebellion, no not Kevin, you must stop it before this gets worse. You must establish your car as an extension of your manhood. I am assuming that she enjoys your manhood or we would not be having this conversation, so any extending of it should be welcomed.

Women love to talk and normally I would advise against any engagement in chastising colloquy but this would be the exception. Establish with her that she is putting her own life in danger by continuing to expose you to the 2010′s version of Olivia Newton John. It is hard for you to focus on driving and because of your feelings, again few times to ever bring this up, you need to put on music that relaxes you. Print http://www.ehow.com/how-does_7227842_music-relax_.html for backup. Now time comprimise that she can listen to her any of her offspring of hackless country singers she would like to listen to in her car.

Finally, you are safe. You will now have to drive all the time but this is still better than where we were before. Stopping the German blitzkrieg on your personal taste is just one of the many battles that must be won in a relationship. So kick back relax knock down a Left Hand Milk Stout and turn on the N.W.A.

Fraternally,

Henry the Moose of Manliness
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