Holiday Survival Guide: From Henry the Moose of Manliness

For many, Christmas is a time when the family gets together and celebrates each other’s company. That’s the politically correct answer. For many, Christmas is a time of high levels of stress where a man is cast into a situation where we need to be an all star electrician, lumberjack, and gift selection connoisseur. That is why I have decided to give you some insight into a holiday survival guide to make this holiday the best it can be.

Lights- Illuminating the house is like a moose showing off his antlers. It is a measure of your mandom. The more lights the better. This is truly where you shine (pun intended). Everyone remembers the lights at Chevy Chase’s house in Christmas Vacation, right? That is what you are striving for. An over the top, legendary laser light show that would make Pink Floyd jealous of. Some tips for you: Don’t use those ice sickle lights – they are LAME. The more Santa the better. And of course, have a moose somewhere at the house.

Tree - Real men use real trees. Create a new family tradition. Take the guys and go out and chop down your own tree. Not only is this a possible drinking extravaganza, it gives you a reason to break out that flannel in your room that you have been wanting to use. Who doesn’t want to be the Brawny Man?

Gifts - This can be the toughest part. All of the times that you have not paid attention always seem to culminate at Christmas. When in doubt, refer to your more primal instincts. Kids like things that blow up and wives like vacations. You like any reason to not spend time at the in-laws. So plan a family vacation to a town where, quite coincidentally, there is going to be an opening day baseball game. The old lady is happy that you’re such a family man. You are happy cause you get see the first pitch. Kids… whatever… it’s the memories and they will thank you later.

Decking halls,Lights- Illuminating the house is like a moose showing off his antlers. It is a measure of your mandom. The more lights the better. This is truly where you shine (pun intended). Everyone remembers the lights at Chevy Chase’s house in Christmas Vacation, right? That is what you are striving for. An over the top, legendary laser light show that would make Pink Floyd jealous of. Some tips for you: Don’t use those ice sickle lights – they are LAME. The more Santa the better. And of course, have a moose somewhere at the house.

Tree - Real men use real trees. Create a new family tradition. Take the guys and go out and chop down your own tree. Not only is this a possible drinking extravaganza, it gives you a reason to break out that flannel in your room that you have been wanting to use. Who doesn’t want to be the Brawny Man?

Gifts - This can be the toughest part. All of the times that you have not paid attention always seem to culminate at Christmas. When in doubt, refer to your more primal instincts. Kids like things that blow up and wives like vacations. You like any reason to not spend time at the in-laws. So plan a family vacation to a town where, quite coincidentally, there is going to be an opening day baseball game. The old lady is happy that you’re such a family man. You are happy cause you get see the first pitch. Kids… whatever… it’s the memories and they will thank you later.

Decking halls,

 

H.M.M.

 

Henry The Moose of Manliness


Comment on this Article

*

BRUT Fathers day giveaway
moosecock buy now 2
llpm black shirt buy now 2
Advertise on Mandependence.com