Henry the Moose of Manliness, Founding Father

Created by God through a lightning bolt, Henry the Moose of Manliness was given to Earth on June 6th, 1944.

He hails from a lineage of Moose that have protected manliness since the age of Adam. Henry spent his early years studying martial arts from none other than Master Splinter and honed his consulting skills from the… world renowned Rodney Dangerfield.

After the loss of AC/DC front-man John Bon Scott, Henry’s critically acclaimed intervention with the band led to the Back in Black album and cemented Henry as the foremost expert on manly consultation. It seemed that his Godly pursuits were coming into fruition, until the dastardly rise of boy-band pop groups. Unable to defend men everywhere from prepubescent screams of girls, Henry thought his divine mission would be a failure. Then, upon wandering aimlessly through the forests of Montana, Henry came to the aid of future Declaration writer Jason Mashed Taters who was engaged in hand to hand combat with a Kodiak bear. Henry, being well versed in martial arts, protected Jason not knowing the unprecedented future implications of this chance encounter.

After accompanying Jason to Florida, Henry had a prophetic dream from his Moose elders that led the pair to a man protesting McDonalds’ seldom availability of their McRib. That man was Big Al and together they were the last stand of manliness. Rejuvenated with a new sense of purpose, Henry enlisted the brawn of good friend Dick Butkus and the wisdom of The Colonel to establish a new document that would give direction to men across the world. After its completion, Henry took a position with the Declaration of Mandependence as General Counsel and Chief Consultant of All Things Manly. His current position entails that he shall answer all questions of man and rectify any pursuit that may lead man astray.

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