Our forefathers shed their blood, sweat, and tears for this nation and all it’s glory to have unalienable rights. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness is a mantra that resides in every American. Today there has been an egregious encroachment on the power of these rights. The Domino’s Artisan Uncustomizable Pizza is a blatant disregard for our freedoms.

A pizza that cannot be changed? Really? That is the beauty of America. We can change anything. If you don’t think one hamburger patty is enough you can have the Big Mac and you can get it without ketchup. If you want a Whopper with 1,050 strips of bacon you can get it.  Alas! Domino’s is showing the face of corporate Fascism.

Truly, they are using dictative powers to restrict my semi-professional pizza design abilities. It is a true fart in our general direction. I never thought I would see the day. This transcends politics. Democrat, Republican, and Independent, we are all pizza proliferaters of choice. I ask that you rise up against this chastisement of choice and say “No” to “no changes”. Where does it stop? Is Dodge no longer going to let me choose the Hemi with Garnet and Gold? Never. Not in this country. So make a stand and boycott the Domino’s Artisan Pizza and…order customizable pizzas only.

-H.M.M.

Henry the Moose of Manliness