Condiments on a Steak

Is it acceptable to put condiments on a steak? That is today’s focus. The answer, in short, is no. There is no more nostalgic connection to our cave man ancestry than biting into a half-cooked porterhouse. Do you think that Bob the Cave Man turned down Mastodon flank steaks for dinner because there was no A-1? Hell No! Don’t get me wrong – condiments are completely acceptable on a burger. But the difference is that a burger you crush; a steak you enjoy. No one eats a burger with a fork and knife.

Even with “steak burgers” it’s acceptable to dash the Heinz on there, but if it slowly grilled from the delicious ambrose that we call beef, in a cut that is a steak…then no condiments.So the next time you’re out on the town and see some guy eating a NY Strip with ketchup, you are within your manly rights to go up and flip the plate onto his lap. “If you do not respect the steak, then the steak will not be for you, sir.” No man should eat a steak like their younger sister does. Thus today we declare that steaks are condiment-less food. Comment below if you have a differing opinion.

 

-Taters

One Response to “Condiments on a Steak”

  • Roberto Torres: August 26, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Taters,

    As a former Meat eating MAN, I whole heartly disagree.

    Condiments are not only acceptable on Steak, but strongly encouraged.

    Ketchup. That delicious FOOD ENHANCER it is the gift from God himself. And as we know, God is a man.

    I will proceed to illustrate how we need to HONOR KETCHUP:

    There are Ketchup flavored chips! (If potato chips makers understood that ketchup is the Potato’s best friend, then so do we).

    Ketchup is so important in our lives that we had to put it in individual packets. This is for those moments where we HAVE TO HAVE IT. Another product that is so accessible? CRACK… What am I saying… I think you can read between the lines…

    There is a Filipino actor called Ketchup Eusebio. He understood that the odds to make it as an actor are greatly enhanced when your name is Ketchup. (And he looked Brad Pitt. It was already taken).

    There is a Colombian group called “Las Ketchup” which literally means “The Ketchups”. This totally kills “The Macarena”. Anytime a group of girls start dancing and signing about “KETCHUP” I am in!

    Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFzyYYZsxGc

    The USDA FDA under the Reagan administration proposed that KETCHUP be categorized as a VEGETABLE. And you know REAGAN was a man’s president!

    There is a town in South Carolina called Ketchuptown.

    And lastly, the PITTSBURGH STEELERS Play in Heinz field. Arguably the best tasting Ketchup in the face of the earth.

    Gentlemen, I rest my case!

    Regards,

    A concerned Ketchup Eater

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